Sub

The advantage to being the sub who is ALSO the wife of the absent teacher:

Sub/Wife can call missing teacher/husband on the cell phone and put it on speaker phone so teacher can yell at the kids from 30 minutes away!

They love it...I love it...It's fun had by all! (except for Sambo who has to throw up a million times to make it happen! Poor baby!)

In case you wonder...Students are STILL trying to get away with stuff because they think the substitute teacher has no brains! Several times today I've been told a suspicious story and then whipped out my cell phone and said, "Well, let's see about that!"

Modern technology turns the table on deceptive pupils! Finally!

My "Mom" letter to Santa

I got a forward this morning from my sister-in-law that made me smile. I thought I'd post it for you! (Actually...I could almost hear my best friend's voice reading this out loud!) Isn't being a mom the best?!

Merry Christmas, friends!
--------------------------------

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year.

I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my own doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out -- over several Christmases. Since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles; and who knows when I'll find any more free time in the next 18 years, so now - -
*** Here are my Christmas wishes ***

* I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (-in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

* I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

* If you're hauling big-ticket items this year, I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

* On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes, Mommy' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

* I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, 'Don't eat in the living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

* If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

*If you don't mind, I could also use a few miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.

*It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing, and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his red crayon back. Have a safe trip Santa, and remember to leave your wet boots by the door, and come in and dry off, so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours always with love and appreciation,

A Mom

P.S. One more thing . . You can cancel all my requests, if you can keep my children 'young' enough to believe in Santa.

Ruthless Mocking

This is for those nearest and dearest to us from the years 1992-1996. You'll get a kick out of this!

Yesterday we got an e-mail from our counselling pastor at church, saying that he has recommended me and Matt to teach the pre-marital counselling class at church.

Us.

Pre-marital counselling.

For people who are wanting to get married and needing Biblical education about whether or not to do it.

From us.

From a couple who managed to be engaged three times with two different engagement rings and almost eloping due to sheer embarrassment.

No final decision has been made by us but I'm sure after I endure the ruthless mocking from my family and three girlfriends, I will know what to do.

(I'm going to TAKE the class!)

Take the Heat

We got a phone call this afternoon from a friend of ours.

It wasn't good. It was familiar to us.

Later, he stopped by so we could love on him...listen and pray. The story and pain weren't uncommon to our kitchen table.

Well, the story was common. The pain-that kind of pain always seems to catch me unaware and leave a new bruise unlike any other.

As we were talking and sorting and advising (attempting through it all to be "wise as serpents and harmless as doves"), the thought hit me. "It's all been leading up to this moment for him. The decisions that he makes right now will be the hardest of his life. The choices will matter the most."

I mentioned to him that no matter what, he will always look back on these months as his "refining". He will never be the same. One way or the other, everything changes.

He went on to tell me what he recently found out in regards to the whole "refining" thing. He had heard about the process that silversmiths go through to refine silver into pure silver over fire.

He explained that it's not like the silversmith throws the silver on the fire and then walks away to nap or get a cup of coffee. In fact, he has to stand right over metal as it heats from the fire and he can't take his eyes off of it. He waits for the perfect moment to remove it and if he waits one second too long- it's ruined.

I was stalled for a minute. Isn't that amazing?

To think that when God takes us to the fire to refine us...He's there every moment of it, never taking His eyes off of us. And blessings of all blessings...in that perfect moment- Relief.

Pure Relief.

Sadly, many don't care to take the heat. They fall for the lie that running from God's intense working can produce the same beautiful results.

I know...I've been known to run.

The confusion is that as the heat gets hotter, the more "wrong" the situation seems!

I always seem to forget in the moment that in refining silver, the silversmith needs to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames are hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

Mal. 3:3a- "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver"

SO, if you're in the deepest heat right now and you're feeling desperately alone, remember: Our faithful silversmith is very near, eyes always on you and ready to produce supernatural results just in time and just at the right time!

(And if you're not...just wait and pray! Your time is coming!)