Saturday, September 09, 2006

"Let it Go"

I'm freakishly sentimental.


I've struggled to find another person that gets as attached to certain things MORE than I do.

I'm a year away from practically starting life over again (both kids in school all day) and I'm trying to think of a degree or occupation that I could intertwine my sentimentality into for success.

There has to be one, right?

In our last move, I attempted to not just store my "sentimental stuff" boxes but to break them open and get things sorted out. I was shocked at what I had decided to keep through the years.

Ticket stubs and particular candy wrappers....the "Florence Nightingale" candle that San made (or let) me carry for her wedding...letters and pictures and map directions...old, dried up crusty flowers. I even kept tissues that I've cried into in various situations?


I'm a freak. It's official.

I got it all down into one small under the bed box and while that makes me feel better, I wonder to myself, "Is this way of life okay or do I need an adjustment?"
I'd like to think it's a part of my personality that's endearing but I'm afraid...


Recently a photographer I met offered to let me come work at his studio. He said after talking to me that it sounded like I saw life in snapshots.

That's fairly true and actually pretty cool...good for me!

I do love to take pictures. I hardly go anywhere without my camera. Even just being out for a basic dinner, I've been known to grab my digital. My friends hate it but they'll appreciate it one day when I'm gone!

This last trip up North, I drove by my childhood home and decided this was the trip that I was going to take some photographs. I got out of the car and walked the familiar sights of my childhood and almost immediately I was flooded with memories from when I was a kid. One "snapshot" after another came popping into my mind as I remembered with every turn, the great life I had as a little girl.

I'm not sure why I'm so captivated with my old house. Other people I know seem to move from their childhood home and never look back. I, on the other hand, get teary when I go down the lane. I miss it. I have a secret plan to move back in a few years and make the owner an offer. The house would probably have to come down for the most part, but to be able to live on the same property would be awesome!

One of my favorite memories happened a few years ago. My sisters and I showed up at our old house on Christmas Day and asked the owners if we could bother them to let us walk through the house! You see, that's just my sisters enabling my sentimental sickness! We actually intruded on Christmas Day!!

This past month, I was shameful all over again. I completely trespassed onto the property without permission and made my way all around the house, taking pictures and peaking in windows.

I need help...really.

So, the following blogs are for my sisters and parents along with my boys. I want to tell you a few of the memories that came to me as I snuck around the property.

I realize that my obsessional personality can be disturbing and concerning but it can also mean that once I love something, I'm hard pressed to let it go.

And I'm okay with that!

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