Sickness..Home and Birthday Soup

I can remember living in my home town and really dreaming of what it would be like to move away. I mean, when you're stuck in the cold, extremely familiar, boring sights that you've known most of your life (and you're a wanderer at heart), it's easy to fantasize what a new state would be like.

And to some degree...it does lives up to your expectation.

Many cities (My beloved best friend, Steph) are warm most of the year. And close to historical places or the beach. There are mountains or even just hills as compared to miles of flat farmland. The people are new and interesting and in many ways you can re-invent yourself. Change old behaviors and never have to be known for this or that.

It's also nice to be the vacation spot for all your family and old friends. NOBODY comes 12 hours to my house to argue or shed bad news. They come for vacations or retreats. We eat, and drink and are very merry! :) My boys are always the celebrities as they are seldom seen. Time together is really "quality" versus "quantity".

But then...

Birthdays...Christmas...4th of July....etc.

Today is my 34th birthday. 34? When did that happen?

My son Sam is very ill and this morning, Matt crashed on the bed in fever and chills and announced that he may need a sub for the day.

Hmm...Who would be a convenient sub? :)

I called my dad on the way to school and announced that I just needed one parental person to wish me a Happy Birthday and while he did, he also informed me that this type of birthday should have long since been expected and accepted! I cracked up but it's true. It's just not balloons and cake anymore when you get big. That's what makes me so adamant to give that to everyone else. That and I LOVE cake.

I will not be too prideful to go to my favorite restaurant on the way home and get myself a slice.

I sat on the couch last night and bawled for a while and I didn't really know why? Maybe it's a hormonal girl thing or I was feeling a little shut-up in the house but in the end I knew what it was.

That darn homesickness...showing its ugly face. It dares me to be unthankful for all the wonderful things I have here in the south and to be daunted by the difficult events that led us here. It makes me focus on that old Cheer's ballad..."I just want to go where everybody knows my name..."

I want to pull up to my mom's log cabin, fireplace blazin' and walk in to find my brother Bill and his wife Lori laying on the couch and my mom cooking my favorite vegetable soup.

I want to smell that awesome Texas sheet cake that she's made and that I'm daring my skinny sister-in-laws to eat another piece of!

My dad, flipping through the channels and teasing my boys by shouting "Go play, girls!".

Brandi is yelling that it's "hotter than molasses in this place!!" and Trav has me in some awkward headlock singing "Happy Birthday, Butthead!".

Matt, who's doing whatever needs doing to make things better for me because that's what he does.

Jeannie has called from another basketball game that she's at and I'm purposely not calling Jules in Texas because I know how hard it is to hear everyone together!

And of course, Steph...who's made Gary "pay back" for a million nights of absence due to basketball games by babysitting her boys while she grabs a vanilla coke and comes to party with me.

On those nights the fact that it's your birthday is really the "afterthought" to using it as an opportunity to just be together as family and friends.

Ehhh..it hurts if I think about it too long.

BUT, it's also needful to think about it and remember old birthdays that were much like that. How blessed am I to have those memories? Many do not.

And today, well today is kind of crappy but it is what it is and I have much to be glad about. My librarian popped in with a cake that she's made which is so sweet and I got the most spectacular picture from JoJo this morning. I'm doing desert with friends tomorrow night. And BEST of all...My mom gave me a ticket to see my sister Jeannie at the end of March and I'm so excited about that.

Home is where your heart is and on my birthday "home"...is a bunch of different places.

I miss you guys so much!

P.S. Thanks also to Theresa...who brought me new earrings and a party hat as I was writing this. So cute! Jewelry making...I've got to check into that!