Tuesday, October 09, 2007

"I Choose Life"

Okay...I don't know what it is like to be married for 20-some years like my sister or 30-some like my mom and dad or even 60-some like my grandparents but I can speak with some academic knowledge on what it is like to be married 11 years.

So, if you are at about year 5 or 6 or goodness-help-us SEVEN...(then there's the awful 10! EEK)...hold out hope. I've got good news.

Year 11, with some good Biblical marital counselling and possible a stiff drink (I'M KIDDING, ANNE! I don't support the "save your marriage by liquor movement"!) you may begin to truly enjoy your spouse.

Matt and I, well quite frankly, we've been through the ringer. If it's not our marriage that is crazy-it's somebody elses and laughter has been last on the docket.

For whatever reason (and I believe it's the blessing of God for faithfulness and possibly just plain numbness)-we have moved into laughter mode.

We are constantly cracking up at ourselves and each other over the most stupid things.

We're completely broke, everything we own is falling apart, we clearly need a few more hours of sleep, both raising two recently "very embarrassed of our parents" boys, and have a love affair with processed foods that is just not healthy!

So...the other night, right in the middle, dark part of the night, Matt has what he is convinced is a mild heart attack.

Granted, heart disease runs in the family and his cholesterol is through the roof and so his suspicions aren't far off.

Matt is one tough cookie (having called in sick TWO times in seven years) and he's not easily shaken but this little episode-did the trick.

He has been freaking out for a week!

Now...the beginning of this post would lead you to believe that I have been laughing at him and at first, I wasn't. I was pretty worried. I mean, he asked me to make him a doctor's appointment! (Wha-huh?) He STOPPED eating junk food! (Come now??) He's walking in the morning! (Hold on!!!)

He's even told me that he now has compassion for people with panic attacks! Listen, if you know Matt, you know he hasn't panicked a day in his life! He barely has adrenaline! He's the most laid-back guy I know!

So, I've been fretting a little by imagining what it might be like to be a widow? Where would I live? How would I survive financially? Who wants to hang out with a sobby, flabby 33 year old woman with very embarrassed little boys??!?

(Now I'm panicked!)

Then the laughter...

This morning while I was making breakfast, I selected pancakes. The boys love them and they learned their appreciation from their father.

I put an unreasonably small pancake on Matt's plate and told him that's all his heart gets. He turned to me at the sink and soberly said, "That's okay, hon...I choose life."

I started cracking up.

This is getting ridiculous. Between you and me...it was indigestion that happened the other night. I'm sure of it. I fed him beans for supper! Regardless, I'm letting him get healthier because he WILL have problems if he doesn't.

Meanwhile, he is amusing me. And really, isn't that what marriage is all about?


Mr. Harmless said...

I think my heart skipped a beat.

Anonymous said...

very funny blog. Isn't great being married and able to have fun. Jeannie