Tuesday, December 05, 2006

You know you are "sort of" a single mom when...

(...The "Sort of" so as not to offend any real single moms by insinuating that I am one just because my husband is gone 20 out of 30 days a month. The true single moms have it MUCH worse and I am praying for them and willing to attempt to serve them in any way possible...Like-late phone calls, sleep-overs or compassionate responses to general bouts of screaming and yelling in a mall parking lot.)

Thank you. That being said...

You know you are "sort of" a single mom when:

1. You insist that the cashier should take your CVS discount card only to realize that her hesitancy is because you are standing in Walgreens.

2. Dawson's Creek becomes your new favorite show to watch over breakfast. I mean, who's around to mock you?

3. You begin to really fantasize about being a dog owner.

4. Your diet consists of cereal and whatever is left on your kid's plate.

5. Your friends begin to avoid your calls because they realize you still have 25,000 words to use up before sun down!

6. You have located all the restaurants in town that let kids eat for free and rotate them each night of the week, finding the cheapest thing on the menu for yourself so you can brag to other moms that you fed the whole gang for $3.95!

7. You begin to ask your 8 year old if he thinks "my butt looks fat in these jeans?"

8. Any major crisis feels like it would be unbearable. Like the stomach virus hitting everyone in your house.

9. You keep any traveling in your car within walking distance from your house because if it broke down you wouldn't have anybody to come and get you at a moments notice.

10. Your kids looked surprised and want to take your picture when you emerge from the bathroom wearing make-up and having your hair done!


Thanks for the shock, Sambo! You really know how to boost my confidence!

Oh and honorable mention:
11. You are often found screaming at your faulty computer because it is your only lifeline to the real world!

12. Your kids ask, "Are we going somewhere?" when you change out of your pajama pants before noon.

13. Screw roses and diamonds..it's a Mountain Dew that makes you really happy!

14. You don't blog for a week because you HAVE NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT!

(I'll leave 15 for San or Steph. I'm sure they'll have some of their own!)


Setrn said...

you are not allowed to make fun of me! Steph and I will have to come up with our own top ten lists.

Charity said...

Hey babe...I wish this was all about you! Sadly, I was thinking only of myself.

Well, the screaming mall parking lot thing was you. OOPS! Did I "out you" church girl :)

(I love that. I think it's going to be my nickname for you. But, if you're church girl..what am I? Scary!)

Setrn said...

hey, church girl could just be our new club. By the way, you didn't give me any credit for coming up with one of your honorable mentions.

Steph said...

Okay number 11 shouldn't be an honorable mention - it should rank in the top THREE. My kids are always shocked when I attempt something besides PJ's. And no need to fanatsize - you are going be a dog owner!

Anonymous said...

Charity, can I link you to my blog? and if I do would you like to be an Indiana buddy or a college posese?

Charity said...

That would be so sweet of you...

I think Indiana Buddy would be nice.