Thursday, May 24, 2007

Surgery Update-"My Living Will"

Ok. I've decided that I will attempt to do a video diary of my surgery. Mostly because it will give my sad little friends plenty of ammunition to mock me from afar and even more so, because I have nothing truly interesting to offer you all to read.

Hopefully taping and posting will begin tomorrow morning on my first venture to the hospital for preliminary activities.

So....

This begins the real life story of Charity getting most of her head taken out...
"You may think you know...but you don't."

(Isn't that how MTV says it?)

Yesterday the hospital called to get some information to pre-register me and to make sure that I had addressed this topic of a "living will".

This conversation can make one of a more sensitive disposition a little uneasy. I mean, is that really necessary? Maybe they read my birth date wrong...I'm only 33. People of this young, tender age should not need to reassure their loved ones to let them live if possible!!!

So, I called my mom and she said she would feel more comfortable with something official written down or a solid conversation with my husband-so I obliged. Matt knows to yank the plug if what is left of my minuscule brain seems non-functioning and I'm going sign a post-it note that day that reads...

"If in doubt-Don't pull my plug out!"

(I SOOO amuse myself!)

I can't leave the decision to Matt or Steph-they'd love to keep me around without the ability to talk! It's like their dream!

I thought of compiling a list of people that would enjoy the job of off-ing me! Maybe we could sell raffle tickets?

Runner-ups could win a free bowl of the fruit jello from the hospital cafeteria!

I'm definitely going to make my mom promise to be sure to create something very "Day Of Our Lives" if it does come to the regrettable. Dim the lights...Matt holds my hand while weeping...all of my friends and family assembling to say how wonderful I was in life...Steph, having applied new lipstick and poofing my bangs for a lovely exit...Ahhh! Yes...

Well, we won't think too much about that. It doesn't actually seem that awful when I contemplate how long I will be paying for this little surgery! I got a letter from the insurance company today congratulating me on being approved for the procedures and explaining my benefits.

Of course, in big letters at the end of the last page was a huge DISCLAIMER about how nothing they have said thus far is guaranteed!

Why didn't they just send me a note that said, "Good Luck!"

7 comments:

Sandy said...

I think I could possibly handle the "plug pulling" jobs. The question, of course, is are you an organ donor??? Just kidding, of course, I love you lots!

Steph said...

Forgetting of course that it takes all I can muster to deal with hospitals these days...
So stop the yucky talk...oh and realize that I will be thinking of you but I DON'T and I repeat DON't need to be the friend you tell the gruesome details to after your all better...I can't even watch ER and CSI without getting queasy... who knew I would be the wussy friend...
Here for you in spirit though! And I would totally make you look good on your last day...provided the room was free of all bodily fluids! :)

Betty 'Rie said...

Oooooh--you're going to tape it! Like, the surgery and everything?? Cool. About the whole "pulling the plug" thing--you're enjoying this way too much, sista!

Mr. Harmless said...

I just keep feeling waves of nausea as I think of stitches in the back of your throat.

Ok. Just felt them again.

I get to pull the plug with Journey's greatest hits in the background.

Sandy said...

Journey's greatest hits??? what, no hymns??? That's cold, Matt.

Charity said...

Don't worry Sandy...He's really only playing Journey so that he can lure one of the nurses from our generation to go on a date with him when I'm gone!

You can sing me a hymn if you want to!

Charity said...

Oh and San-I am completely an organ donor! Clear down to my skin although I can't imagine why anyone would want that!

My whole family has this beef with donating organs and I know there have been some bad stories but I think it's pretty amazing in the right situation!

Maybe you can't help making that call?

(This is getting wierd-maybe we should talk about happy things???)